


Fusion in the Workplace

by yaboyrobin



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Steven Universe Fusion, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Jake puts his foot in his mouth more than usual, M/M, No beta we die like my soul, Supportive squad, and single people with fusions is seen as weird too (by bigots), but a fusion and a fusion together is frowned upon by bigots like gay marriage is in the real world, charles can't stay fused for too long after an accident, episode rewrite, fusions and gay fusions aren't looked down on except by purists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:01:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23867209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboyrobin/pseuds/yaboyrobin
Summary: The 99 has a new Captain. A captain who.... is a fusion? Huh. Well this would be interesting.-Basically if people could fuse like steven universe characters, what would be diff about brooklynn 99. I'll do more chapters if people are interested. As it stands the first chapter is what would be different about the pilot ep.
Relationships: Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Kevin Cozner/Ray Holt
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Fusion in the Workplace

"So-" Amy sighed as she sat on Peralta's desk, trying to ignore if it was sticky or not, "Have you heard anything about the new Captain?" 

"No," Jake rolled his shoulders, before looking up at Amy, "And I don't care. I just wish McGintly never left. He was the best."

Amy scoffed, "No he wasn't. You just liked him cause he let you do whatever you wanted," 

"And?" Jake crossed his arms, "What's your point? Besides, he was better than the captain we had before that."

"Literally anyone would have been better than that skeeze ball," Charles grumbled as he passed by, holding a file in his hand. "He tried to make us fuse to get more arrest numbers. And never liked that I couldn't." Charles adjusted the alert bracelet he had on to warn others in case of an accidental fusion. Get him to a hospital immediately after he defuses. 

"Okay, he was the worst," Amy nodded, remembering the poor officer hunched over a hurling Charles. The two barely knew each other, and weren't a good mix. Charles was out for a good month after it. Internal affairs had a field day with the captain. "But if I'm ever going to make captain, I need a good mentor!

Jake rolled his eyes, "Well, I'm sorry to break it to ya Amy, but I bet this guy is terrible." He stood, "He's probably just another washed up pencil pusher whose only concern is-" Jake did a small robot dance, making his voice more monotonous, "Following every rule! Meep zorp!" 

Everyone's eyes suddenly went behind Jake. "And I bet-" Jake continued, "He turns a blind eye to forced fusion. Most captains don't care if someone's in pain, so long as the fusion gets results." Jake made a face, "Eugh. I hope he doesn't make us fuse. I bet our fusion would be the worst-"

Amy's eyebrows raised, "uh- Jake-"

"Oh, what, you think your half would make it at least halfway tolerable? I bet they'd make a binder about Die Hard- eugh! That would ruin my favorite movie. Unless it somehow pointed out something I never realized about the movie or it's stars." Jake tapped his chin, humming a moment.

"Jake, I'm sure that's an interesting thought you have going there, but-" Amy gulped.

"But what?" Jake cocked a brow, crossing his arms.

"Oh, no, don't interrupt him," a voice said behind Jake, "I'm interested to see what else he assumes about me." 

Jake spun in surprise, only to be face to face with the chest of a pudgy, older fusion. His four eyes blinked boredly, as he stood ramrod straight- arms behind his back casually. "Heyyyy-" Jake sweated awkwardly, opting for awkward finger guns in this situation. "I just- uhhhhhh-" He gave an awkward chuckle, "You know I was kidding! I'm like the Jerry Seinfeld of the group! Tell em Ams-" Jake looked desperately to Amy, who simply squeaked awkwardly. 

"No, no, I understand-" The man held up his hand to stop the floundering, "You've had a history with bad bosses, and you were simply venting. I get it." He went to go to his office, adjusting his tie. 

"Oh," Jake responded dumbly, "Well thank you for being so-"

"Also I'd say you're more the Joe Besser of the group," the man hummed idly, before motioning Terry into his office. 

"The who-" Jake looked around to the others for information. 

"He was the least popular actor who played three stooges," Amy supplied helpfully as Terry retreated into the office with the new captain. 

"Aw man-" 

-

"I'd like to apologize for Jake." Terry frowned, looking as the man unpacked the box that had been brought up for him. "He's seen too many cops get pulled into-" 

"Like I said, I get it," Holt waved him off, "You know me. We were in the 1-8 together."

"Yes," Terry nodded, wringing his hands.

"Though-" Holt looked over his shoulder, four eyes scrutinizing Terry, "You were significantly-"

"Fatter?" Terry sighed, "I know. They called me Terry Titties. On account of my-"

"Titties. Yes, I remember." Holt pulled a book out of the box and placed it on the shelf behind the desk. "Never liked that nickname. Though it was accurate-" Holt shook his head, "No, I was going to say more in the field." Holt paused at the weak "oh" from Terry. "Why are you on administrative leave?"

"Well, it started when Sharon got pregnant with our twins, Cagney and Lacey." Terry pulled a picture out of his wallet to show Holt. 

"They have cute chubby cheeks," Holt almost smiled at the image.

"Yes, but- I got so scared of something happening in the field," Terry sighed, "I got put on leave after an incident at a department store. Shot a mannequin six times. Haven't been right since."

"Mmm." Holt looked at Terry a moment before going to the window. "Tell me about your detectives."

"Well," Terry pointed at a large fusion with four arms stuffing their face, "That's Hitchcock and Scully's fusion, Lambert. They only really fuse to eat, but they eat a lot. The two are pretty much useless, but make good coffee."

"Now for the good ones," Terry pointed to a hispanic woman in black leather, who was looking angrily at her computer. "Rosa Diaz. Tough, smart, hard to read-" He grimaced as she started smacking the monitor, "And really scary." 

Terry pointed to a man on the phone, who was trying to juggle the phone and files. "Charles Boyle. He's a grinder. Not the best detective but he works harder than anyone else. Not very physically gifted." He frowned, "You probably read about him in the paper after the incident a few years ago."

"Oh yes. Unfortunate happenings. I remember hearing the guilty verdict. Charles must have been pleased." 

"He was." Terry nodded, "Now, Amy Santiago," He pointed to a woman studying a file, with a stress ball in her hand. "She has seven brothers, so she's always trying to prove she's tough." She pointed at the man from earlier, "She and Peralta have this big bet on who can get more felony arrests this year. Since the bet, their arrest numbers have gone way up." 

"Hm," Holt fingered his tie a moment, "Tell me about Peralta." 

Terry sighed, "Jacob Peralta is my best detective. He likes putting bad guys away, and loves solving puzzles." He grimaced, "Only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up."

"That was well put," Holt's eyebrows raised slightly.

"I talk a lot about Jake in my departmentally mandated therapy sessions." Terry mumbled, looking away from both Jake and Holt.

Holt nodded a moment before turning to Terry. "Look- you know my history." His two upper eyes refused to make contact for the briefest of moments, before flicking back to Terry, "This department is doing fine, but I want to make it the best in Brooklyn. And I'll need your help."

"Of course," Terry shook the man's hand, before looking out to the detectives, "Where do we start?"

Holt paused before smiling, pointing at Peralta, "With him."

-

Peralta sweated as the man he'd just probably insulted walked out of his office. He looked like an anti fusion wackjob now! Ugh. Hopefully he'd be able to show he wasn't. "Everyone," the man announced, lower eyes and top eyes blinking out of unison, "I am captain Raymond Holt." 

"Speech!" Amy smiled, ready for her new favorite boss to talk. She loved how he shut Peralta down in a matter of seconds. 

"That was my speech." Raymond blinked at her, this time in unison. 

"Short and sweet," Amy nodded, trying to get on this guy's good side.

Holt hummed before walking down the line of desks. The man named Peralta stopped him. "Hey-" Peralta rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "I just wanted to actually apologize for earlier. I know it was rude to assume-"

Holt held up a hand to stop him. He then pointed. "The next time I see you, stop apologizing. And wear a tie."

He started to walk off again before Jake called out in confusion, "But our old c.o. didn't care if we wore ties."

"Well this one does," Holt called back, calling the elevator and heading somewhere. 

"I love him," Amy grinned widely, loving Jake's expression of confused and upset.

"Shut up, Amy." Jake pointed before getting up and heading for the elevator himself. He needed to get to that crime scene from earlier-

-

After the hell of a day Jake had, it was nice to be out on a stakeout. "This is nice," Jake grinned as he wrapped an arm around both of the front seat headrests. "Hanging out with my best friends. And the best part? Patrol guide says there's no dress code for a stakeout!" He grinned as he adjusted his hoodie.

"Is he always this talkative?" Holt blinked boredly over to Amy, hunched in the small car. This one wasn't built for fusions. 

"I just treat it like a white noise machine and ignore it." Amy smiled back at Jake, who scoffed.

"First of all, that's racist," Jake commented jokingly, before turning to Holt, "And secondly- sir, you caught the disco strangler. That was bad ass! With all due respect, why did it take you this long to get your first command?"

Holt shrugged idly, "I'm married to another male fusion." He looked back at Jake's surprised face before cocking a brow. "What, you didn't know? I don't try to hide it."

Jake thought about all the hints he missed through the day, before murmuring to himself, "Wow I am a bad detective."

"When did you come out?" Amy smiled at him gently, happy that her boss could be out and proud.

"To the force? 25 years ago. Both our family knew since my components were young." Holt shrugged, "The NPYD was not ready for an openly gay detective. But then the old guard died out and suddenly they couldn't wait to show off the fact they had a high ranking gay officer." Holt rolled his eyes, "I made captain but they put me in the public affairs unit. I was a good soldier, I helped recruit… But all I wanted was my own command." He looked over to Jake, "Now I have it. And I'm not going to mess it up." 

"Captain-" Jake swallowed a moment, "I…. I'm so sorry- I feel like such a jackass." He looked out the front window. "But…. On the flip side…. There's Ratko." He grinned as he moved to get out of the car, "Humility over! I'm amazing!"

\--

Holt hummed with a smile as he adjusted the pride flag on his desk. He looked up as Jake knocked on his door. He motioned to a chair and Jake sat. "Finished booking Ratko. Just thought you should know."

Holt nodded, "Good. Hopefully something like that won't happen again."

"Oh it probably will." Jake chuckled nervously, "We can't all get perfect instantly."

"I know." Holt nodded, top eyes flicking away a moment. 

"So… Can I ask what they're like?" Jake motioned, "Your components. I've never been close to any permanent fusions. Except for when Charles was with his ex wife, so I don't know if that's rude-"

"Depends on the fusion," Holt interrupted, "I quite like the question. It shows you want to know me and my story. My husband hates the question, however. Makes him think you don't care about his individuality. Only reason I know is because he thought I deserved to meet them." 

Jake paused before motioning, "So? What are they like?"

"Oh you have to earn that, Peralta." Holt smiled coyly. "If you want info, you're gonna have to behave."

Jake chuckled, almost fondly, "That's fair, captain."


End file.
